For those of us who grew up on video games, going on a quest is something we've done quite often. A quest is defined as follows:

1. The act or an instance of seeking or pursuing something; a search.
2. An expedition undertaken in medieval romance by a knight in order to perform a prescribed feat: the quest for the Holy Grail.
3. Archaic. A jury of inquest.

Most would not consider shopping a quest and they would be correct. A quest has to involve many unknowns and the object that you are pursuing must ,according to my classical definition, be hard to find or thought to be lost forever.

So you would think that being able to go on a quest would be near impossible these days without seriously going out of your way. Well friends, I completed a quest today.

My 1985 Ford Escort GL soldiers on like a senior citizen running the Boston Marathon, it's kind of sad to watch but you feel happy that at least they are up and about. The Escort sheds parts quite literally with just the other day my left headlamp came out on the highway. My right side headlamp had already melted internally due to the alternator cable fusing to the exhaust manifold.... but I digress.

So my car was blind and I could not drive it at night because I had no lights. Autozone said and the internet confirmed that buying 1 new headlamp assembly would cost $189 so for two it would be 45% of my vehicles total worth. What to do? After much consideration and a good corncob pipe full of sumptuous North Carolina tobacco, I decided to go on a quest to the junk yard.

Every quest starts with a map. So I beseeched the ancient cartographer Google of Mountainview. For no fee Google of Mountainview produced a map for me, so I jotted the directions down in my trusty journal and mounted my injured steed. My quest brought me to the kingdom of Ecology Auto Parts, a proud and wholesome kingdom governed as a autonomous collective of the Mestizo people. I approached the gate with some trepidation, since my fair city clothing made me appear as an outsider. The gatekeeper was a Caucasian slave that spoke in an odd vernacular.

Gatekeeper: 2 dollars to get in, sign the paper, no refunds.

I nodded and produced the currency, made my mark on the scroll and entered through the turn style.

What greeted me then was a graveyard of ancient travelers. Travelers from as far as the spice regions of indo-china and the bitterly cold Argonne forest. Propped up on the parts of another traveler. Shells and ghosts of what they formerly were. I waded through the vast sea of monoliths and headstones. Other adventurers were on similar quests to find the parts there vessel needed, to openly rob the graves that the dead travelers so willingly permitted.

With the sun rising high in the sky I finally came upon a 2nd generation Ford Escort, a 1987 but it still would do the trick. Sadly I had forgotten to bring my tools so the only means of extracting the needed pieces was with my two knives I always carry with me. Other adventurers that passed by were more than happy to trade and converse with me for the correct tools and knowledge to loose the prize from it's moorings.

Success! I retrieve the right headlamp assembly, 3 bulbs and a Ford insignia to replace my battered standard.

I take my prize to the troll who stands at the taxing booth. I present my findings and the troll charges me the fair sum of 39.95 for all the parts. I pay with credit.

So there you have it, you can go on your very own quest. It's exhilarating to find your part amongst thousands of cars. Also recommended for dates and family get-togethers.