On my lunch break today I was enjoying an In-N-Out single with sauteed onions when a 30 something couple sat next to me. They started to wonder aloud who the McDonald's characters were. They were grossly incorrect in their assertion that there were "fry guys" and a purple guy named "cheeseburglar". These inaccuracies could not continue when the woman exclaimed "but I thought fry-guys were from Super Mario". I had to interject. To clear the confusion I shall figuratively crack open my pop culture skull and smear it's bits as a balm onto any festering ignorance.

Fry-Kids are armless living balls of mirth that resemble pom-poms(not THE Pom Pom). They were once an all male group called the Fry-Guys but this was deemed too much of a sausage fest to McDonald's execs since McDonald's doesn't offer sausages on their menu and did not want to deceptively advertise. The Fry-Guys were quote "totally down" with adding females to the group. The addition of the females allowed the renamed Fry-Kids easy entrance to many popular clubs and venues. Not to be confused with...

Shy Guys are enemies first encountered in Super Mario 2. Shy Guys come in many colors and posses a terrific array of skills, from walking on stilts to piloting submarines. Shy Guy continues to appear in most Mario related games such as the later Mario Kart series and Mario Tennis. Shy Guy is a formidable foe in Mario Tennis but everybody knows that Boo totally owns.

Grimace can be thought of in two ways. Grimace is either a purple Pac Man Ghost with arms and legs or is a version of Barney the Dinosaur with Down Syndrome. Either way no one really knows what Grimace does either then exhibit the classic signs of marijuana abuse; droopy eyes, constant hunger and slurred speech.

Hamburglar is the anti-hero of the McDonald's universe. He loves and craves all Mickey D's food which is praised and encouraged. He unfortunately steals his food from children and other characters which is looked down upon. Maybe if Hamburglar would focus that energy into more lucrative larceny then he wouldn't have to steal to eat. Same could be said for Aladdin.

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I got to meet the stunning Ali Larter the other day on Hollywood Blvd. When I say meet, I really mean stumble over my words and shake her hand, to which she graciously obliged.

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Heroes is getting more and more awesome this season. Tim Kring is starting to find his creative legs again. Give it another go, they need the ratings.

Give a listen to Punk Revival group The Sounds. They're different, they're Swedish and I always dig groups with talented lead female singers.